lord help us here.

So first off i'd like to congratulate my amazing wonderful neighbors, for their SOON to be amazing gorgeous baby girl from Ethiopia! :) I've caught little smeared faces because the law says no one can see pictures but the adopting family, but i've seen what those children look like, and oh my hamburger helper, THEY ARE BEYOND gorgeous!! But on top of that, they already have gorgeous family, two boys and a little girl. I've literally never seen a family this gorgeous, and I'm not just saying that because she's reading this, I'm being beyond serious. They go to court Thursday, (Wednesday night for us) so I"m praying I wake up to an AMAZING email saying little O is theirs!! gosh I can't wait until they bring her home. Over a two year long adoption, I can only imagine the physical and emotional toll it has taking on this family, I've seen a lot withing the past year that they've been my neighbors, but one thing I can say about this family is, THEY ARE DEFIANTLY GOD SEND! Even when it looked like when they took a step forward, that they got knocked four steps back, they continued to smile and keep hope because they taught me that Christ wouldn't have brought them this far into the adoption to take their little girl away, and I'm also extremely thankful that they've shared their religious point of view with me, made my faith grow, A LOT! and it's made my change my whole out look my future, thanks to them. Of course my mom has said the same things that they have, but I mean as teenagers, we don't really listen to our parents, I'm just so excited for this family, so in the middle of this WAVE of excitement,

MOM GOES TO DOCTOR
yes, my mom went to the doctor, though she hates it, and it was like a slap in the face, literally! within a 13-15 hour span, she was admitted to the hospital and put through surgery, leg surgery that is. She's doing good, she's asleep and is expected to be released from the hospital Thursday morning


Dear Lord,
I'm aware that I haven't always been the perfect Christian, but I've tried, and yes, I could have tried harder, but I was younger and stupid, I should have continued living my life for you like my mom raised me to do. I'm sorry that I've taken things for granted, and I'm sorry for the wrong things I never should have done, I'm sorry for not devoting my ENTIRE life to you twenty-four/seven. BUT Christ, thank you, for everything, for everything you do, for everything you give up. Thank you for the amazing people in my life, and thank you for finally slapping my upside the head and making me get my butt back on track. Jesus Christ, My lord and Savior I love you, and thank you so much for everything you've given me and everything you do, and i PRAY from the bottom of my heart that you can and will for me for the sins i've committed, in Christ name i pray, amen<3

engagement date.

We finally picked a date that was perfect for our wedding, ONLY to have it fail it again ! lord, planning a wedding date around two HUGE families, is KILLING us!!

  


it's a lot of people, but it's a preview of the hundred more that might come <3

Real Life

real world.

I didn't realize that time would start going by so fast. I've got less then five months until I graduate from high school and move out into the real world, and it hits me, i'm not ready for this. It seems like just yesterday I was crying when mom walk away and left me at day care, but now I'd give anything to have that back. I remember wanting to grow up, and begging god to make time go faster so that I can grow up and be an adult, lord why did I ever make that wish?! make it stop! take me back to when i was five and the only thing that matter was what color i was going to use to color with that day! I seen the mistakes i've made, and the lessons i've learn, and I can say, as much as i hate to grow up, and enter the real world, it's right for me. I've accepted christ and i'm changing into a better and wiser person each and every day, though i don't want to grow up, i do thank god for being by my side, and helping me grow up.

Closer to Christ we go

Tonight, as I was babysitting for my neighbors, of course ever once in a while I would text Kyle (the fiance) and we were talking about how we don't spend sundays together, simple because I have church. Now let's back track a little, we've been together four years, and lord have some mercy on my soul, it's been a crazy wild four years, but we've made it through just about everything life has thrown at us, so any way..... we were texting and he he said he wants to start spending sundays with me, wel i've tried before to get him to go to church, but it just wasn't working, so i stopped going to spend time with him then we moved. My mom, my brother and I moved out of our apartment and into a house, and our neighbors, oh lorsh, our neighbors have inspired my faith SO MUCH MORE! literally between them, christ and kyle, i WOULD NOT be the person i am today! So when we moved, my faith started growing more and more, though i wasn't attending church like i should, i wanted to get back into it, but our church wasn't speaking to me like it should. It was the old been there forever kind of church, and it really wasn't catching my attending anymore, and it hurt me because i love my church and i felt like i wasn't surviving christ as i should, so i started going back, even my mom didn't go, i still went.Well these past few weeks, i've made a point to go every sunday night even if mom didn't go (mom has never been one to go to church alone, she likes being with someone) so i'd wait for her in the mornings, but she'd never get off work in time, so i started going at night, and well tonight, while i was babysiting, Kyle said he wanted to start spending sundays together, and i said i couldn't because of church, and he said "well i'll start going with you" and i kinda laughed about it and said "yea, okay" (simply becuase that just isn't kyle) but he was serious !!! I couldn't help but smile, i've talked to many many many people about making my faith grow stronger, simply because i want the strongest relationship with christ that i can get. so i asked him why he wanted to start, and he said, because of two reason, 1. I WANT TOO ! < he actually wants this ! god this made me love him even more and it made my night all together and the second reason was 2. I want a happier relationship and the strongest marriage i can possible have with you! we've been together four years and i've always had to make the first move, when it came to anything, I was the first to talk about getting engaged, the first to talk about wedding plans, to first to talk about houses, i always made the first move and HE STOOD UP AND SAID THIS, and here lately he's been actually looking at apartments for us, he's talking more about our future then i have here lately! I recently got him the book 'The Resolution' and he's been reading that, I don't know if it's the book, or if kyle finally accpeted christ into his heart, i don't know what it is, but he's makin an azmzing change and seems to be coming closer to god, and i'm so proud of him.

Christ, thank you so much for all of this, I don't know what i'd do without you! i contiue to pray that you'll continue working with kyle and I and making our relationship with you stronger and stronger. <3

"you can do anything, but you can do everything through Christ"